Wild in Here

"Let Daddy put your monkeys on."

---Me

Ewwwww.

"Don't rub boogers in your eyes!!"

---Me

From Her Mouth To...

"Don't brush your hair with your toothbrush!  Don't brush daddy's hair with your toothbrush!" 

---April

Done With Dinner

"You don't poke your ham with my keys!!"

---Me

First Time At A Real Cemetery

"Get off the dead people!!!"

---Theresa

Gross, But Cute

Months ago my best friend Kerr sent my daughter a package in the mail.  We opened it to find Pee & Poo.  No other items in our home have inspired such ridiculous comments.  Here are just a few I've found myself saying lately:
"Did you want to bring Pee & Poop with us to the laundry room?"
"Don't chew on Poop!"
and my personal favorite:
"Look I made Poop a girl!" 
I really did.  You can see:

Overheard By A Husband Who Laughed Until He Cried

"Don't talk with your penis!"

---Anonymous Mom

Sibling Love

"Don't pee on your brother!"

---Ashley

"You can NOT try to sell your sister to strangers!"

---Mom I met at the park

Stinky Feet

"Mommy's socks do NOT go in the Diaper Genie!!"

---me

Boys & Girls

"Ian does not have a vagina, he has a peanuts."

---Amy

A Kick In The Pants (Or Head, As It Were)

"Life's hard, get a helmet."

---Kim

If You Don't Tell Them They Won't Know

"The dryer is not a place for children."

---Amy

"Couches are for sitting"

---me

Just Because He Does It Doesn't Mean You Should

"Don't lick the cat!"

---Ashley A.

What Did YOU Learn From Last Year?

"This School Year's Things Not To Do:

1. No Head Butting

2. No Taking Handcuffs to School to Arrest your Friends

3. No Pulling the Fire Alarm Because There are Ants in the School Bathroom"

---Theresa

What's The Shipping Cost On That?

"Don't make me sell you on eBay!!"

---Kim

Good Advice For Anyone (not currently playing hockey)

"Please do not hit anything, at any time, with the hockey stick."

---Amy

The H Is Important

"We don't want poop on Pooh"

---April

That Can't Be Healthy

"Honey, please don't sit on your brother's head." 

---Ashley

"GROSS!! The cat is drinking out of your sippy cup!"

---Me

Did I Really Just Say That?

I conceived this blog the moment the words "Don't color the keyboard" came out of my mouth.  Years ago a friend of my brother drove his mom to say, "No skateboarding on the couch, Brad."  As long as there have been mothers we have been saying things we never could have imagined we would.  This blog will be a place to showcase those ridiculous words we hear flying out our mouths.  I hope moms will feel understood and readers will find a new appreciation for their moms all while laughing their heads off.