Not Edible

"Don't eat your baby's head!"

---Me

This Can Only End Badly

"Don't put your baby in the microwave!!"

---Me

Boys

"Don't run on the roof!!"

---Theresa

Ewwwww.

"Don't rub boogers in your eyes!!"

---Me

First Time At A Real Cemetery

"Get off the dead people!!!"

---Theresa

A Kick In The Pants (Or Head, As It Were)

"Life's hard, get a helmet."

---Kim

If You Don't Tell Them They Won't Know

"The dryer is not a place for children."

---Amy

"Couches are for sitting"

---me